I used to have dreams.
I wanted to be a teacher, so I aimed at entering a university and managed to win a scholarship. I gave up proceeding to the ambition, though. That was because I got an acceptance to become a government employee. The notice brought happiness to my struggling parents. My parents, especially my mother, had a hard time raising my sister and me, so I couldn't have it.
I wanted to visit England when I received an award of a free tour ticket. I gave up traveling, though. That was because I got engaged at that time and my fiance didn't feel happy with my traveling alone.
I gave up some dreams with some reasonable reasons, I thought. But now I know that was not true. I abandoned some of my dreams because I didn't have the guts to fight against some obstacles. I chose easier ways to get through. And after that, I've kept saying "I used to have a dream, but..."
Self-deception, that's it.
I've just deceived myself whenever I meet with strong oppositions. I hate making excuses any more, but actually I don't know how I can change...