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Bullying (添削後)


The news of the a boy's suicide has drawn people's attention lately. He killed himself at the early age of 13, and there is some doubt about him having been subjected to a lot of pressure from bullying. If we'll end up overlooking this issue, such our lazy attitude is a disgrace to all of us. The bully has to acknowledge his mistakes without saying "It was just a joke." Bullying cannot be a joke. It's surely a part of offenses. We are vulnerable and sometimes feel oppressed, but that's no reason for us to abuse a person. Offensive language is a selfish weapon with no solution to our tough human relations. Well, if you feel uneasy with somebody, just keep away from them so as not to become a villain. Each of us really needs to understand the this fact: the problem you have now doesn't come from others. Weakness to bully somebody surely comes from the inside of yourself.


1) suspicion that he had
2) it will be a national disgrace
3) It is surely an offense
4) that provides no solution
5) Bullying others is the result of weakness that comes from within.

文法的におかしな部分は朱書き、「こうすればbetter」というアドバイス部分は下線で示してます。
ネイティブの添削、本当にありがたいです。
書けば書くだけ、先の見えない試練の旅になります「英作文」。。。

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